he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
