***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize