we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
