dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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