ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
