Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
