Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
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Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i've created a new STD.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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