I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
your thong is hanging out like whoa
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
