Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
