these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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