I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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