I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
