just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
