goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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