fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Ladies don't puke and tell
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
