You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
