Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
