uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Randomize
