I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
