ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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