Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
