I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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