his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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