Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
