i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
