i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
