The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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