I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
