Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
