There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
