STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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