a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
