i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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