I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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