Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
