When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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