false alarm. still invincible.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
