Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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