I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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