were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Randomize
