guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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