Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
only if we run a train.
done.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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