By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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