beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
