wrigley field is MILF paradise
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
