Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
