Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
