You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
