Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
