you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
