The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
