Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
