So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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