I can feel you judging me through the phone.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it glows. i had to have it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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