For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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