he thought i was a dude.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
