In the future we'll all be gay
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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