Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
