I'm lost and stupid without you.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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