How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
this hospital has no fireball
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize