You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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