i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize