whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
should my penis look like a turkey
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
