Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
