Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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