before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
