Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
This house was built for laser tag.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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