i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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