Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
