My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
