it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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